Mike and Sam were raised by their parents in a suburb of Boston.They had all the advantages a kid could ask for while growing up. Their Dad, Robert, was a well respected community activist and college professor. Carol, their mother, was also well known in the community and an engaged parent. As the family aged they arranged for assisted living for their parents and at-home personal care for Carol due to her declining health and cognition.
Eventually the family decided that Carol needed more care and chose a facility located five miles across town. Robert was in agreement with the plan as long as he could drive to see his wife every day.
Mike and Sam arranged for a ride service for Robert. They soon found Robert would not accept rides for his daily visits to Carol. Robert saw no need to pay for rides from others since he had never been in a car accident or had a ticket in his 64 years of driving. He enjoyed his morning routine that included walking to his favorite coffee shop to chat and pick up a newspaper. After that he would drive across town, around 10 am to visit Carol. The drive there was a route Robert found challenging because of morning commuter traffic. Often when he arrived Carol was not yet ready for the day and he had to wait to see her.
Eventually, after much discussion, Robert agreed to undergo a Driver Safety consultation to prove to his family that he could drive independently. They did an internet search and found http://www.aded.org which led them to a Massachusetts professional willing to come to their home and meet with the three men together.The two sons respected their father and his ability to make a good decision about driving.
The three men were all included in the assessment visit, seated together at a large table. Robert’s achievements and reputation in the community were discussed at length.
During the assessment, Robert was found to have deficits in several areas critical for safe driving. For example, he was unaware that arthritis had impacted his ability to turn his head for scanning. He was surprised to learn that changes had occurred over the years impacting his knowledge of traffic signs and rules.
His physical movements were slow and required the use of a walker or a cane, especially outside on uneven surfaces.
Robert was surprised at the difficulty he had with some of the physical and cognitive challenges included in the testing. He hadn’t expected that.
A group discussion about the testing results and Robert’s preferences and transportation needs followed.
He was open to changing his time to visit Carol from morning to noontime which she and the staff at her care home appreciated.
He was reminded that his housekeeper was available to give him a ride to the care home every day around lunchtime to enjoy a meal with Carol. His sons were eager to find him a consistent, private ride home every afternoon around 2 pm.
Robert decided that he longer needed to spend money maintaining his older vehicle if his sons would make consistent transportation arrangements for appointments and important meetings. They were eager to do that, understanding that a problem on the road could be devastating to Robert, and to them, in many ways.
